Moms are pretty darn special. But wine moms? Those are our people. The moms who can bandage a wound and swear like a sailor. The moms who have a “not-so-secret” hiding place for their “mommy juice”.
But as badass as wine moms are, they still have their struggles and we can all drink to that.
What’s a wine mom? Well, here are some signs you might be a wine mom.
School Bake Sale Season
The struggle finding gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, vegan recipes with 100% compostable wrappers for the school bake sale is real. Screw it, you’re taking a jug of water and paper straws.
Going out for dinner always seems like a good idea, but it very rarely is
The disconnect between what we’d like going out to dinner to look like, and reality, is vast and disappointing.
We’d like to go to a restaurant that does not have the word “nugget” on the menu, and eat a meal with an expertly paired wine…
But of course, we end up at a restaurant with a questionable smelling play place and meals that are expertly paired with toys.
We haven’t had a good night’s sleep since before we got pregnant
The places that really should serve wine, do not
Like PTA meetings, or any restaurant with a play place that is heavily populated by children.
The places that do serve wine, should not
We’re looking at you movie theatres. We just spent $60 at the concession on 2 kid’s combos. Frankly, we’re afraid to ask how much the wine is. But that’s why we sneak mini wine bottles in our purses.
We know the theme songs for every show on Netflix*
…kids.* If we hear the Paw Patrol theme song or “Baby Shark” one more time, we just might die.
Fun fact: Incessant repetition of songs is a technique used in interrogations and hostage negotiations.
So is sleep deprivation. Just saying.
Wine mom shaming
We see you side-eyeing our funny wine shirt. You think we talk about wine too much. Maybe we have a “problem”. Maybe the wine was why we were so rowdy at the PTA meeting… (it wasn’t, we were just that bored.)
Real talk here: We are not promoting alcoholism. We are not forcing anyone to drink (or shaming those who choose not too) And we are certainly not blackout wine drunk while watching our kids. So, why you gotta shame a mom who just wants to commiserate with a couple of friends and a box of wine? To each their own, but always drink responsibly.
The wine mom struggle is REAL.